Gay side sex
The side guide: a (not so) new lgbtq+ sexual position
By Oli McAuslan, updated 1 year ago in Sex and dating / Sex
While this is a piece about sides, this is not a side piece. It’s not anal with a side of finger-licking fellatio. But a side as the whole damn meal.
You’d be lying if you haven’t sat on the couch and devoured a whole bag of chips for dinner. So why judge others for enjoying the same?
Leaving the pun a-side, practicing side joy has become popular down under. I’ll take you through the history and meaning of sides and give you some in-side-r tips on how to please one.
A side is a person who doesn’t engage in fucking or being penetrated, but instead prefers oral sex, rimming, frottage, mutual masturbation, hand jobs, and other non-penetrative activities. These sexual acts are often referred to as foreplay, side enjoyable, or outercourse. Regardless of what we call them, these practices make up as much of sex as anal does.
Like all sexuality, sides exist on a spectrum. Some sides don’t engage in penetration at all, while others may occasionally do anal, for instance, with a trusted partner.
Although the pos ‘side’ has only recently emerged, the
What Is a Side? The Sexual Preference, Explained
WHETHER YOU ARE a member of the LGBTQ+ community or not, much of the language surrounding queer connection and sex has grow common knowledge over the past decade. From superior, bottom or versatile, people of all identities and sexualities are learning more and more about the individual ways we all experience sex, resulting in many of us having a better time in the bedroom than ever before.
But there’s one legal title that’s still breaking through into common parlance despite its growing community: the side.
Queer dating app Grindr added side to its list of free sexual positions that one can identify with in 2022, signalling an uptick in the number of queer people resonating with the term. But what does it mean to identify as a side as a queer person, and why are more and more people using the term?
What Is a Side?
A term often used by men who hold sex with men, a person who identifies as a side is a person who doesn’t acquire a desire to partake in anal penetration (both receiving or giving) when having sex.
"Side" was coined by Dr. Joe Kort, a queer sex therapist, in 2013. Kort shared that he wanted to popularize
After a solid five-year scamper in a somewhat monogam-ish relationship, I find myself emerging on the other side as a 30-year-old single guy, clueless about how to jump help into the dating game. Initially, I avoided dating website apps, drowning my sorrows in Long Island iced teas, surviving emotional meltdowns at wild house parties, and well, tending to my own business solo. But with time, my heart healed, and I decided to dip my toes (and thumbs) into the online dating world.
Though I haven’t had any dates yet, I’ve explored these apps, and assume what? Not much has changed since my last dating venture. There’s still an abundance of headless torsos and greetings that march in like they own the place. Once you log in, you’ll scroll, swipe, or heart your way through an endless parade of twinks, twunks, bears, daddies, and more! However, when it comes to selecting your preferred positions for sex – something gay men take very seriously – the choices have always been the traditional “top,” “bottom,” or “verse.”
Then, enjoy a beacon of curiosity, the term “side” kept popping up, catching my eye. At first, I imagined
What Does “Top” Mean?
In the context of gay relationships and sexual dynamics, terms such as “top”, “bottom”, “verse” and “side” are often used to illustrate a person’s sexual preferences and roles. It is important to knowing these terms not only for members of the Diverse community, but also for increasing understanding and acceptance of queer relationships in society.
What Does “Top” Mean?Physical AspectsEmotional and Psychological AspectsCommunication and ConsentWhat Does “Bottom” Mean?Physical AspectsEmotional and Psychological AspectsThe Stigma Around Organism a BottomWhat Does “Verse” Mean?Accepting DiversityCommunication and CompatibilityWhat Does “Side” Mean?Non-Penetrative IntimacyOpposing NormsAccepting One’s IdentityRoles and MythsHealth and Safety During Gay Sex
As a governance, in gay sexual relationships, the “top” is the partner who has a penetrative role during anal sex. However, the framework of top includes much more than just physical actions: it includes a whole set of attitudes, preferences, and sometimes sentimental roles.
Physical Aspects
In physical terms, the top in a gay sexual relationship is the partner performing the penetration. This may comprise the use
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